&

I'm looking through you, where did you go? I thought I knew you, what did I know? You don't look different, but you have changed, I'm looking through you, you're not the same. Your lips are moving, I cannot hear, Your voice is soothing but the words aren't clear. You don't sound different, I've learnt the game, I'm looking through you, you're not the same. Why, tell me why did you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight, You're thinking of me the same old way, You were above me, but not today. The only difference is you're down there. I'm looking through you and you're nowhere. Why tell me why did you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight, I'm looking through you, where did you go? I thought I knew you, what did I know? You don't look different, but you have changed, I'm looking through you, you're not the same. Yeah, I tell you you've changed.

July 2009

09 July 2009 @ 03:57 pm

(no subject)

my life right now is really screwed up.
but i'm getting by the best way i possibly can.

one day i'll have it all figured out. right?

2 | comment?

27 May 2009 @ 10:39 am

worcester, massachusetts

haha this is so ridiculous:

i love you worcester

5 | comment?

21 March 2009 @ 07:47 pm

love you

"I want to dance around to Saves The Day w/ a true friend in my room. I want carefree moments again. I want true smiles and more cute pictures on my wall. The kind of pictures when your really together... when you are so happy... when your smile is so wide it is like trespassing on the other person's face. When it's real... when you laugh after you take it and cry when you get it developed and see it again. A picture with true friends that I can find comfort in when I look at it knowing that they are my friends.. my real friends... who I care for and they care back."

-maura elizabeth curtin (December 2001)

comment?

18 March 2009 @ 09:20 am

(no subject)

reading it in the paper just made it that much more real.
what the fuck.

Maura Elizabeth Curtin. There are no words in the English language that could justify her entire being. Almost every amazing moment in my life belongs to her and I wish I could pick just one but that seems near impossible. I will hold onto every memory of her with such intensity…All the nights she surprised me outside my bedroom window. Late night trips to the beach. Singing every song we loved at the top of our lungs and laughing until our sides ached. Every single memory will always be so close to my heart. Without her presence, without her infinite wisdom, without her infectious laugh…I don’t think I would have made it this far. She made me sane when I needed it most. I don’t think anyone else in my life has had this much of an impact on me, like Maura has. During a time where she should have down right hated me, she only loved me. And I owe her so much more than she could have known. I carry your heart with me; I carry it in my heart

i miss you maura.

1 | comment?

15 March 2009 @ 11:33 pm

not my fucking year..

no words. i love you so much maura.
come back to me.

rip.

Current Mood:

broken

8 | comment?

30 December 2008 @ 01:36 am

(no subject)

fuck the internet

1 | comment?

10 December 2008 @ 06:54 pm

you don't know how lovely you are

i've never been good with death.
even walking into the Mercadante funeral parlor, my anxiety soared through the roof.
i had to lose both grandparents there and now a friend.

but if i took anything away from this experience,
it's that Dom is probably the most loved person on this planet.
literally.

Goodbye, Dom. <3
you touched so many lives.
& i feel so fortunate to have known you

Tags: dom

Current Mood:

cold

comment?

07 December 2008 @ 11:00 pm

i'm probably the only person who feels this way but...

Twilight was fucking weird.
& not in the good way.

15 | comment?

07 November 2008 @ 05:22 pm

november 8th

tomorrow is my grandmothers year anniversary.
i stopped by the cemetery today to bring her yellow roses. her favorite.
sometimes i think i'm going to forget everything about her.

*sigh*

2 | comment?

23 August 2008 @ 08:47 am

(no subject)

nothing about my existence is real at the moment....

reality check? i think so? no? oh okay.

comment?

13 July 2008 @ 09:37 pm

realization:

i need to take a good, long vacation away from anything with a penis.

2 | comment?

01 June 2008 @ 12:52 am

it is my birthday. It is a new year. I should be happy that i am still here.
Light up a new joint. Put on an old shirt. Try to remember but forget how my brain works.
But i could read a book a night before this year.
I knew every word, their definitions clear
But now in stealth i check thesaurus- it's become my guilty mistress.
So i heave my breath at burning wax because i know that spark ain't coming back.
It is my birthday. I've got all my friends here.
They haven't been talking as of lately. They've all found new bro's and babies.

i'm 23 today.

Tags: 23, birthday

6 | comment?

27 May 2008 @ 12:33 am

(no subject)

And if you don't love me let me go

1 | comment?

05 January 2006 @ 12:02 am

you're a few years overdue....

i tend to have the same dream every night...right before i wake up. i'm in the back of an old car and it's bright. really bright. i'm confused and i look towards the drivers side. my grandmother is driving away...far away. and each night her appearance changes. she's different but always happy and that makes me feel incredibly warm because i don't think she's been honestly happy at all the past 4 years. so anyway, i'm feeling warm inside and it's really bright but the dream feels so good and i wonder why, why at this very moment, she is this happy and i look to my right and there he is. he never changes. he's always the same. the way i remember him before he left me. and i've never felt so relieved and put-together? i can feel myself cry and i wrap my arms around him from the back seat and smile and cry, cry, cry, cry so much but it's so good and i'm feeling pretty floaty. more floaty than i have ever felt. but then it goes black. and everything gets unbearably loud. needless to say, i wake up very d i s s a p o i n t e d . i wonder if a nightmare is worse? i miss him muchly sometimes.

I spent them waiting here for you.

Tags: grandpe

Current Mood:

sad

Current Music: guk

13 | comment?

14 October 2005 @ 11:27 am

tonight's the night.

tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night. tonight's the night.

rock n' roll.

Current Mood:

happy